- Ted Danson as Sam Malone
- Shelley Long as Diane Chambers
- Nicholas Colasanto as Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso
- Rhea Perlman as Carla Tortelli
- George Wendt as Norm Peterson
Recurring / Guest stars:
- John Ratzenberger as Cliff Clavin
- Jack Knight as Jack
- Donnelly Rhodes as Leo Metz
- Donna McKechnie as Debra
- Keenen Ivory Wayans as Customer #1
- Angela Aames as Brandee
- Teddy Bergeron as Man #1
In the cold open, Diane takes a large tray of drinks up to the top table of the bar, Diane puts the drinks down and reads out each drink ordered, the people at the lower table inform Diane that those were their drinks. Diane asks if the two tables wouldn't mind just switching spots. They agree to help Diane out.
Act oneEditAfter the opening credits, Norm enters the bar to ask for a beer, he asks Carla about her kids. A man named Leo then walks into the bar asking for Gus. Coach is unsure who Gus is, so he asks Norm who Leo may be talking about. Norm says that he could not forget that guy because he had such a great name. The man begins to worry that if he doesn't find Gus, his problem won't be able to get solved. Coach says being a former baseball manager, he may be able to help. Leo says that his problem is his son came home from college with his new boyfriend who is black, Coach asks Leo (the white man) "and your son is not"? Norm tells Coach to find Gus.
An attractive woman begins to walk down the steps, Norm notices her. She comes in and asks for a white whine, when she goes to light her cigarette, Norm runs over with a lighter. Norm lights the cigarette and almost burns himself putting the lighter back into his pocket. Carla, waitressing a table at the other end of the bar, says that once Sam gets out her he'll be all over her. Diane disagrees with her, saying Sam looks for a women with a bit more substance. Carla says that the woman was clearly built with Sammy in mind, then Norm says that she may not be flashy enough for him. Carla knocks on Sam's office door, Sam sees the attractive lady and wonders right over to here. Sam begins to flirt with her, until Diane begins to make some wise cracks about here lack of intelligence, making fun of her name "Brandee" and how she spells it with two "e's". Sam then asks to see Diane in the pool room.In the pool room Sam asks Diane why she was laughing out there. Diane continues to explain to Sam that she isn't the brightest person in the world. Cliff and Jack are in the back playing pool, attempting to get some beers from Diane, but Sam won't let her. As Sam continues to get on Diane for not dating more intelligent women, Carla comes to the back explaining to Sam that he needs to get Brandee out of there, because the customers are drooling all over the floor. Cliff and Jack then run back into the main bar area. Sam and Diane continue to argue, Sam explains that he likes fun loving women and that he plans on going to get Brandee. Sam and Diane re-enter the bar area to find out that Brandee left with another man. Sam says that if he sees one sign of Diane enjoying this she is in a lot of trouble. Diane asks for a couple of beers for Cliff and Jack in the pool room, as Sam reaches for the beers he notices a smirk on Diane's face, even though she attempts to hide it.
After the commercial break, Coach is getting a beer for Norm, when Leo looking for Gus comes back down the stairs. Coach tells him that he finds out that Gus has died. Leo begins to cry about it again, when Coach yells at him to explain the whole problem. Leo then explains to Coach that his son is actually gay, much to the shock of Coach, he tells Leo that if he's that unhappy about it just throw him out of his house. Leo then says he sees what Coach is saying, if he can't accept the kid the way he is, he'll lose him. Leo leaves the bar, Coach and the rest of the bar celebrate how Coach helped him out.
The guys begin to discuss how Sam has been out with a different girl every night that week. As everyone else is happy about Sammy going out with a different girl every night, Diane announces her displeasure again, asking how much pleasure can one man get. Sam then walks into the bar with a woman named Debra, as they sit down at a table, Sam explains that he and Debra just saw Mozart symphony number 41. He explains that it was Debra's idea, trying to prove to Diane that he dates classy women. Sam continuously tries to convince everyone that Debra knows what she is talking about. When Debra gets up, she leaves the program from the symphony of the table. Diane picks it up and notices that the program is two years old. Debra then caves in and says that her and Sam just went to see Star Wars again. Debra leaves and Sam, upset, goes back into the bar room.Carla explains to Diane that Sam has never really dated any smart women, Diane asks about Sam's ex-wife, then Sam says that Debra was Sam's ex-wife. Diane then goes into the back to talk with Sam about the women he dates. Sam says that this week he has gone out with all the women he knows and the only thing he could notice about them was how stupid they were. He then calls Diane a snob, then Diane calls Sam an aging adolescent. Diane then says Sam is too dumb to date a smart woman, claiming that a smart woman would see past Sam's come-ons immediately. Sam then says he's never met an intelligent woman he's wanted to date, Diane is relieved by the statement.
Norm and Coach are seen talking to Cliff at the bar about whales intestines. Cliff helps prove Norm wrong on and Norm pays Coach some money, obviously losing a bet to him. At the other side of the bar, Sam says he is sorry for what happened in the pool room. Diane also apologizes. After a short break, Sam begins to talk about the color of Diane's eyes. The two have a heated moment, as Sam begins to describe where he has seen the color of Diane's eyes before. Diane becomes mesmerized by Sam's short story, when Sam asks Diane, "wouldn't work, huh? An intelligent woman would see right through that?" Diane, a bit confused at first, says, "In a minute."
Trivia & NotesEdit
- Sam and Debra mention that they went to see Star Wars (1977).
- This episode was filmed on August 10, 1982.
- NBC rebroadcast this episode on April 21, 1983
- Sam's ex-wife Debra makes her only series appearance, she is Sam's date to the opera.
- Coach played for the St. Louis Browns, who generally finished last in the American League.
- This marks the first of eight appearances by the character Jack.
- Brandee sits down to the bar and orders a white wine. She is clearly served a blush or a rose.
- Norm's marital status WAS verified at this point. In the pilot episode, as Cheers was closing and everyone was leaving, Coach was giving Norm a ride home and just as he's helping Norm walk out the door, he asks:"Normy, you're in here every night. Doesn't you wife ever wonder where you are?", and Norm says jokingly: "She wonders...Doesn't care!".